Gamer Girl

I will admit it, I am a gamer girl. If I am not at work, I am playing video games or drinking. When I am at work, all I think about is coming home to play! I am, more recently, expanding the type of games I play as well. I used to just play Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, the Mario games, etc.. and now I am getting more into Bioshock & Diablo III. I LOVE how I can separate myself from the real world and consume myself for hours on end and play.

My most recent obession would have to be Diablo 3, simply because I have been holding myself back from playing it for about a year now, and I finally gave it. I am so consumed by the game on my days off!!! :) It is not a bad thing for me either.

I am, also, a big fan of League of Legends. It is not as exciting or extravagant as Diablo, but I enjoy the characters you can choose and the different skins you may purchase for them :3 SO ADORABLE!!!! I can also play that game for hours on end, but do end up getting bored simply because it is the same thing over and over.

CAN I EVEN BEGIN TO SAY HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THE NEW LOZ GAME?! gah.....Legend of Zelda is my LIFE, but a new game! I, honestly, wasn't too fond of the newest release A Link Between Worlds. Maybe it is because I am used to the graphics of the Wii version of Twilight Princess. I have been spoiled with that so the DS one is a bit childish for my likings as far as graphics but the story and quest is as epic as ever. <3

One game I am about to finally play for the first time after I finish Diablo 3 is Kingdom Hearts (I KNOOOOOWWW I have NOT played it ever!) I know it is a sin! But I am going to finally give in, buy it, and binge play :D I have never herd anything bad about it, just have waited toooo long to play it! <3

Alright, off to do laundry and other apartment duties on this day off! 

-Cassie

Disconnected--

So I de-activated my facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram & snapchat. I am only reachable via text and call. Reason? I really need some time away from drama and people. I need to focus more on myself and getting back on track versus concerned about everyone else's life and posting a play-by-play of my day. NO ONE cares what I am doing at all moments of the day.

I am doing a lot more deep breathing exercises, yoga, and video games. I am still going to work, but I transferred to another store for a few weeks and it really is a good thing for me. Getting away from the old negative and into a new positive fun work environment makes SUCH a difference.

Of course I realized with de-activating my facebook, no one will read these blogs, and I am fine with that. Maybe these things are just for me to vent and type everything I do and feel into them. This blog is all I have right now. I have to say I am going through social withdraws since I am such a socialite. Today is day two of not having these social medias....and I am still alive :P

I really want to use this extra time to also start working out again. I miss the way I was so full of energy while I was hiking and exercising. I miss it terribly. I, also, need to start packing my belongings. My time here in Texas is becoming less and less. I am anxious, nervous, excited. I cannot wait to be with my family again.

I will post again soon, very soon.

Cassie

Statues

I'll break the silence, and watch it fall to pieces. The aftermath of passive violence, the "he said that she said she did it" ; && oh, I got a feeling I think you should know about : that i'm trying to find hope, there's nothing left to hold, i'm stuck down here in this hole i'll dig my way out.
I'll stand just like a statue, just like you, acting like the sky's just about to fall, with everything I cant do I cant move - in the end i'll find my way back home(find myself at home). Just say something don't leave me here with nothing I know I deserve more then this. The self-destruction, I'll think till I cant function I should've seen it coming to this.

They say its not having this, you're one shot till its all over. Say it "I just want out". Just let your words wash over me. And oh, a sinking feeling the flash fire's gone out. I'm trying to find hope, there's nothing left to hold i'm stuck down here in this hole i'll dig my way out.
I'll stand just like a statue, just like you, acting like the sky's just about to fall, with everything I cant do I cant move - in the end i'll find my way back home(find myself at home). Just say something don't leave me here with nothing I know I deserve more then this. The self-destruction, I'll think till I cant function I should've seen it coming to this.

And every second I breathe i'm coming closer, with everyday I see i'm getting older, with every step I take i'm moving further away from what I am and who I was. Let go of yourself like you let go of me, you were my oxygen and now it's hard to breathe. This is the final page so now i'll set you free, you were my everything && I was your empathy.

I'll stand just like a statue, just like you, acting like the sky's just about to fall, with everything I cant do I cant move - in the end i'll find my way back home. Just say something don't leave me here with nothing I know I deserve more then this. The self-destruction, I'll think till I cant function I should've seen it coming to this.

I'll take the blame if you take my conscience. Let go of yourself like you let go of me, you were my oxygen and now its hard to breathe. this is the final page so now i'll set you free, you were my everything, I was your empathy.

<//3

Frustrated!!

I am so beyond frustrated with myself.
I feel like me feeling so ugly is a smack in the face to all those who have ever called me pretty or beautiful. I don't mean to, nor can I help it. I just feel so so ugly. I look in the mirror and coat on tons of mascara and eyeliner to draw attention to the one thing I do love about myself -- My Eyes.
I know its horrible. I know that I should feel beautiful. I am the product of my mother & father's love. I should feel majestic just because of that. I feel so out of this earth. I know I am beautiful, but my beauty is so different then this world's. As are my beauty standards.
I see so much beauty and potential in those this earth would originally cast out. I wish I could shake the people I see beautiful, who also see themselves as not, and let them see what I see.
That's when I realize that is probably the same way they feel about me. So I am teaching myself to keep my head held high, and focus more on the positive things  I like about myself versus the negative. I am coming along, and remind myself I am put on this earth for me myself and I. I do not need to please nor focus on anyone else. When it comes down to it, you will be held accountable for your own actions, not anyone elses....and I need to remind myself that more often.
Anywho, just really needed to vent my feelings....trying to convince youself that you are beautiful can be harder on some days..

Love y'all,

Cassie