You see, I have this problem...
My heart is so vulnerable and pure. I love to love people. I love to show love and give my love out. I find it so hard to hate and keep a grudge. I find it hardest to keep myself back from falling head over heals for people. && THIS is a major problem. Because in the end I am the fool.
I find myself falling harder and faster lately, and I just need to keep my freaking head on and remember my goal. Solo. I need to remember that I need to better myself for me, before anyone else should be able to get in my way. My goal - HOME. I want to go home. I cannot wait to be back home with my family and friends and beaches and working retail and just being able to come home to a house full of love and greetings from my family <3 I cant wait to be able to go to the beach and let my mind go wild and free. School, Work, Family, Church. Home.
Some days I wish I could just rip my heart out and throw it away, though. I hate being quick to love and always one to wear my heart on my sleeve. I am always so willing to help and love and care for others. I always want to go that extra mile to make someone happy. I love to surprise people and make them smile. It isn't a bad thing...sometimes I just do it too much and I wear myself thin.
Anyway...This weekend I was able to go to South Padre Island and REALLY enjoy a beach for the first time in about...4 years. Since I moved down here! It was so great to be back at the ocean. I swam and collected tons of shells and even caught 2 crabs and a shrimp! ^_^ It was really so so fun! And I got tanner :D
I am trying to register that my birthday is on Sunday....May 18, 1992. I will be 22 years old this year...and I am realizing that my youth is over. I will never be able to go back but I must look forward and embrace that I am aging. I need to really figure out what I want to do with my life...because I am running out of time on this earth..and THAT is scaring me terribly...
Have I told you all that I love you? Well I do :) Have a fantastic day, mmk??
Love you,
Cassandra
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