Amara Hospice

Here Until The End.

I just cannot pull myself together to sleep more then 15 minutes. It isn't that i'm not completely exhausted, it's because I just cannot stand not being awake watching over grandma. I am strong enough to stay by her side through everything and probably wont break down until I get home to San Antonio on Wednesday. I have long days at work Thursday and Friday to keep me occupied until I drive back down.

(old pic from mothers day)

I want to drive back down Friday but I don't get out until 10 pm, if I take off right after work I wont get here until 2 am, and I might not be able to keep myself awake. Might have to wait until Saturday morning, then drive back to San Antonio Sunday afternoon. This has been such an emotionally draining experience and such an anxiety thing for me. I keep a smile on and keep the Perales/Rivera family laughing, but inside, I really feel like I am breaking down. BUT enough of that sadness.....

On the plus side, I am going to be writing in a journal on top of this blog to keep my mind traveling. I am also burning some CD mixes for my drive by myself :3 I am pretty excited to out those together. I have a lot of stuff to occupy myself with throughout this night. Once we get relief from our long shift, probably around 9 am, I will be able to go back to the apartment and sleep. REALLY try to sleep. I need to be rested for Wednesday. I am shooting to start driving by 2 pm so I will get in San Antonio by 6 pm. Give me time to see my foundation at HEB or wherever I must go to see them.

I am about to go do laundry at this awesome hospice. The staff is so sweet to us. I am gonna grab a cup of coffee on my way back to the room. I have been so busy that I haven't been able to do laundry so this place is just magical. It is absolutely gorgeous here too!! A windmill in the front with some farm animals on the property across, a huge lake in the back with cactus and benches. It is just so tranquil, I will probably do some yoga too. I feel so calm and at peace here even though my body wont let me sleep. I might be able to emotionally rest here.

(grandma resting)

I love you all

XOXO

Cassie