Staying Strong.

She is a tough cookie. 

I have actually slept today, 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the afternoon. I am slowly gathering hours of rest for the drive back tomorrow. My mind is always on grandma, I just keep telling her that we love her, God loves her, and to just rest up.

Today they tried to give her water because she has not drank or eaten anything in days. The water dripped into her lungs so they had to stick a tube down her throat to suck it out. A lot of blood was coming out instead of water, because she kept gargling and choking on it as she tried to breathe. They continue to administer morphine to her to let her sleep peacefully, still getting spurts of pain from the leg that they amputated the toe from earlier this month.

I had a dream while I was sleeping from 5-8 of going to a carnival. Completely unrelated to what is currently going on. I so want to go to a carnival! Play games, snow cones, cotton candy, the atmosphere. I miss being a kid. I really don't want be an adult anymore. I really don't want to say I wish my life turned out differently because actions led me to knowing Grandma Victoria and Texas. I sure do love San Antonio.

I am really missing my family terribly in this time of suffering. It really brings back memories of when I lost my last grandparent, Papo. It was one of the hardest time in my life. I still miss him and hear his voice occasionally. I wish he was still alive physically but I know his spirit and love always follows me.

Anyway, I am going to try to lay down and get some rest, debating on going to a good close friend of mine's house to get some real sleep. LONG day tomorrow. I did burn 3 CDS for the trip so far and always have people I can call if I get lonely or sleepy.

I love you all,

XOXO

Cassie